Hmm, I haven’t posted on here in forever, but I figured its time to spill my guts and clear my mind LOL.
So unfortunately my dad drank like a fish this past year and more or less destroyed his liver. At this point I’m in the States for Christmas break and I knew to expect it when I arrived. However, the part that’s been unbearable and caused many skirmishes has been dealing with my grandma. She’s 92 and has a tendency to keep a list and check it twice (or more) when it comes to things to worry about. I told her she makes mountains out of molehills. She says she cannot help it, and knowing what I do about geriatric psychology I’m not entirely sure I disagree.
So the part that irks me the most is when she has tried to either restrict me from doing anything recreational with friends or even guilt tripping me when I accept an invitation anywhere. She claims I don’t understand or prioritize my dad’s situation.
Ya know what? My biggest priority to an atheist with a failing liver is to offer (and hopefully accurately portray) Jesus, the author of life and giver of love. I’m working on that and I covet your prayers, however, I need to have a balanced, healthy mindset. I need to remind myself that I’m a professional, an adult, an ex-patriot even. Prioritizing my friends, perhaps not prioritizing but rather investing in them, and not sitting around in madness for 3 weeks on my Winter Break is not a sin. It’s not.
I can’t expect her to understand. She hasn’t just come back from 5 months being overseas, she hasn’t experienced the hardships I have growing up (and therefore doesn’t have the coping skills I have). I might even in a non-prideful way suggest she doesn’t rely on God the way I do. It’s glory to Him, not me. I see Him present in my life as I face this, but I don’t see His peace in her as I watch her cause little hells for those around her.
She won’t oppress me.
I will be a person of peace, and I will have patience. That doesn’t mean I will be walked upon and abused, beat down and defeated, even as Western culture might suggest I do so.
